Case of the Mondays

[Originally written a while ago, but still applicable today]

Complaints
As of late I find myself complaining more than usual. Though I've nowhere near hit bottom, I'm not nearly where I once was either. In life I took 20 steps forwards and jump back 10. I'd say I'm living an average life (monetarily speaking here, I have an above average life family wise).

Do I smell bacon!?
For years I brought home the bacon. I was able to take what we had and increase it 3 fold. I was at a point where I was trying to talk my wife into just staying at home with the kids. We had it made. Then the hammer hit. The boss decided my position was no longer needed and poof went my glory days (remember I'm talking money here nothing else). We had a nice amount of savings built up and I used it to raise Logan and stay at home with him. That of course can only last so long. Interview after Interview were all a waste of time. No jobs were hiring for the positions I was looking for. In fact many were doing the same thing my old boss did and cutting back in preparation for what they knew was coming.

Mediocrity
So here I sit in a dead end job doing ten times more than I should for what I'm getting paid for. Stuck. Unable to move forward again and reclaim those lost steps. I need to work to an end. I need an end game...One day soon it will come.  I just hope it's the end I've always wanted.

Apnia

Got O2?
Apparently while I sleep I don't. I find myself sleepy even after sleeping 8+ hours. Not physically sleepy, just mentally. My eyes feel like they have weights on them. With the diminished capacity I'm finding it more difficult to have the energy to do things.

It's a scary thought.
Knowing that my body and mind are not cooperating with each other. I'm going to be going in for the test in the hospital to find out the extent of it. Also to find out what the solutions are to this problem. I don't want to have to wear an oxygen mask to sleep every night. I also don't want to have another surgery. The thought of them having to break my nose to fix it is a difficult one to process. I do know that throughout it all Lorie will be there for me. Supporting me.